An Afternoon On Mt. Tamalpais

(Chinese)

An Afternoon On Mt. Tamalpais

How difficult it is for me to stop.

Hold
	Still
		Listen
			Full
				Stop

Listening to the space around me.

Listen now to the mountain.

I hear that message in the motor of my car

as I turn sharp corners, ascending.

Can I listen without the need to receive

the "next step" - to plan the next move?

Can I simply listen with no agenda or request -

To simply enjoy the Unknown?

God, I accept your invitation to rest,

To dream.

I sit amongst the redwoods on a smooth log that lays across a stream, hidden from the bridge and the trail by moss-speckled gray granite boulders. I am in a magic fairyland sensing spirits, sprites, gnomes, and elves listening to my thoughts ...

If I believe it is not O.K. to have wants,
I will always secretly want what I cannot have.
Then I am imprisoned by a sense of lack,
of being perpetually unfulfilled. Pushing, reaching,
calling into a Future who holds her fruits just out of reach.
As long as I reach for what I believe is unreachable,
I will not hear the call to stand beneath the one tree who is ready to drop her fruit into my lap, into my mouth,
into my Heart.

Going down the trail, deep into the forest ...

I give up my desire for peace - it is avoidance
of living fully ...
Peace is not what I think it is.
Could I just dive into being honestly human -
instinctive, organic, wild, dirty,
free of rules of etiquette,
or spiritual purification -- Be

--A Goddess of Passion --

Would that make me any less spiritual than I would
like to think I am?
Freedom to be anything flips out my ego. Without
rules of right and wrong and a structure to fit into,
the possibility of failure looms so large that
I become paralyzed.
I want to stop achieving, building a business,
improving myself, healing my body, mending
my tears.
I want to stop with the curiosity of a child;
with the attentive readiness of an animal face
to face with her predator.
Will the enemy retreat when I disappear into
Stillness, merge into the world of form - dissolve
into the shadows that paint the sunlit tree?

For further reading on a particular subject found in this writing, please click on a topic heading below:

Change/Transformation	Heart
Divinity	Humanity
God	Mystic

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