Since discovering Soul's Beauty, I no longer feel the need to use ego's measure of Beauty. What a relief!
As a child my clothes were plain and well worn. My Mom cut my hair in an unflattering way. Because I was a "normal" girl wanting to be accepted, I was ashamed of my appearance. What was it that triggered my self-judgement? I never heard, "You're a Beautiful child". I believed I lacked Beauty. I knew I lacked charm. My parents prided themselves in their plainness. They taught me to avoid setting myself apart, insisted I "blend in".
I felt I was "unBeautiful". Ego measures Beauty with a narrow ruler. If you fall outside of ego's parameters, you either learn to cope or sink into the bottomless pit of being "less than". Ego's version of Beauty is compelling, full of false seduction. You are placed, indeed, you place yourself inside, or outside, the lines of ego's Beauty.
I found it unbearable being on the wrong side of the line measuring ego's Beauty. I had to find some Beauty for myself. I searched and found places that nourished my hungry longing. I looked to nature in all its forms, shapes, and colors. I found music would transport me past the pain of exclusion. I was a tomboy. In the vigorous use of my body, I found freedom from my self-judgement of being plain.
At the same time that my parents were projecting their "unBeautiful" guidelines on me, they were also nourishing my Soul Qualities of peace, spontaneity, simplicity, and joy. These Qualities reflect my inner and outer Beauty. I marvel at the Beauty that surrounds and enfolds me now. Moment to moment, I give thanks and am grateful for this Beauty. Memories remind me that I am one with Beauty. I feel supported and enriched by my Consciousness called Beauty. Beauty floods my Being. I am Beautiful.
These are remembrances of Beauty that nurture me:
This is Soul's Beauty.
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